Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Car Stress: 22/31 #solc16

Yesterday was my first day driving my new car: a Ford C-Max. And, let me tell you, it stressed me out!

First of all, the car grades me on my driving! Yes! Grades me! There are three bars on the dash: acceleration, braking, and cruising. When I got on the the highway yesterday morning, my cruising score started going steadily down. What?! It got so low that it turned yellow.

Then, when I got to work, my husband sent me a text saying that I got an F on my driving! Apparently he downloaded an app that gives him a summary of each trip I take in the car. The screen shot he sent listed my score as a 67, which I promptly informed him was NOT an F. It's a D. Almost a D+. Besides, where is the rubric? How am I being graded?! I thought I was cruising just fine, thank you very much! At least my acceleration score was impeccable, whatever that means.

Now I have always been the student who wants to get As. This feature of my car is already stressing me out. Today I drove my old car because I want to read the manual to find out how to improve my score. I cannot get another below average grade!

I feel that I must add that my husband thinks my stress about this is very amusing. He already said that he will delete the app from his phone so I don't feel like he's stalking me and judging my every driving move. (Although, he didn't fail to tell me that he scored an 80 when he drove it the other day.)

The second thing that is stressing me out is the fact that there is a "plant" on the dashboard that I have to keep alive! If you've ever seen a plant in my home, you would know why this is anxiety-inducing. I try to remember to water my plants...a couple of times a year. I'm always surprised to see my houseplants looking sad and wilted and then I remember that they do require water. Poor things. Anyway, since my car is a hybrid, it rewards me when I'm driving efficiently by adding leaves to my "plant," and having them wither away when I'm not. So, I'm already insecure when it comes to plant care and now I'm responsible for a plant in my car, too?

It's all a little much for me!


  1. Hilarious! I can't imagine what my car would have to say about me. I've been driving our pickup truck lately, and I KNOW I'd be getting an F on parking that thing.

  2. I read this to my husband, and we both howled. I'm still laughing. The plant would really bother me. It sounds like dash-board clutter. Maybe a dashboard Jesus can work a miracle for you. And that app is big brother nonsense, unless you have a teen driver in the house. Definitely share this w/ your salesman.

  3. Oh my goodness!!! I can't believe it! Can you deactivate it?!?! Who needs that?!?!

  4. Ah...you gotta' love it. The absolutely useless, ridiculous things American technology offers us in our already overly distracted, overly busy lives!

  5. Oh my goodness! The pressure of being graded on your driving by your car?! Like driver's training all over again.

  6. First of all, congratulations on getting a new car.
    But second, OH. MY!! That is a lot of stress. I thought we weren't supposed to be distracted drivers; sounds like checking in for a report on how you were doing would achieve just the opposite result.
    Curious to know why Ford thought this would be beneficial.
    Humored to know your husband was monitoring.