Friday, April 25, 2014

Beware of the Yeti Crab

I posted (this story) about my fear of sloths almost exactly three years ago, and I have been delighted to find out that there are other people in the world who share my fear of the awful sloth. Like this person, who, just like me, had an embarrassing moment at a zoo thanks to a sloth: 

I am also terrified of sloths and everyone makes fun of me and tells me that sloths are cute and once I went to the zoo with my friend and I was in the primate exhibit and I heard the tour guy say that there were sloths and I started freaking out and crying and ran out of the exhibit and went home early. my friend was not happy with me at all!
Or this poor soul, who was tortured by someone who thought it would be funny to show her a video of a sloth:

I can't stand them!! It makes me physically sic I want to puke! I can't watch them in videos or anything without screaming and crying and wanting to throw up, and I have nightmares about those evil long claws dragging across my skin. My dad shared a video once of a sloth walking across the street, and I actually started to cry cus my phone wouldn't turn off the video and I was having a panic attack!! So glad I am not alone in this phobia!!! 

And, I can totally sympathize with this person. It is hard for others to understand that sloth phobia is a real condition, and, no, people who suffer from it do not want pictures of sloths posted repeatedly on their Facebook walls!

for so long i thought i was the only one with this fear,,,,,these creatures absolutely scare the heck out of me....i dont know what it is and i cant explain it.....i have never kwon what the word PHOBIA meant until ive discovered my phobia of these beasts....nobody understands me when i tell them this fear i first people think i am joking but they soon learn how stunned i get when i see a pic of i feel relieved by the fact that there is at least more of us out there.....p.s. the harpy eagles main diet is sloths :)
These are just a few of the comments I have received from others who despise sloths, but the main theme running through all the comments is a gratefulness at knowing we are not alone in this fear, especially in this dangerous time where sloths are always trending on the Internet and one never knows when a picture will pop up. I think I may have enough people to actually start a sloth support group. And, while we're at it, maybe I can help these people with their grammar skills, as I would hate for sloth haters to also become associated with bad punctuation and spelling!

But, on to the real purpose of this post, which is to warn you all about a horrible thing that is now competing with the sloth for the title of Most Feared Creature in my book, and that, my friends, is the Yeti Crab.

I just happened to be walking through the living room where my daughter was watching Wild Kratts when this thing caught my eye. And, even in cartoon form, it made me sharply draw in my breath and my heart skip a beat. 

"What is THAT?!" I yelled.

"It's a Yeti Crab, Mom," my five-year-old replied, and sensing my fear, she explained that they only live in the deepest parts of the ocean, and I am therefore not likely to run into one. 

Not that this made me feel any better. You see, I also know that I am not likely to see a sloth in the tree in my front yard, but that hasn't stopped me from imagining the scenario anyway and devising a sloth safety plan for myself. I knew that the ocean would never be the same to me again, knowing that these made it their home.

When discussing the Yeti Crab at a recent party (I've been warning people about them wherever I go), a friend suggested that the Yeti Crab was fun and fancy, with its boa-like arms. "The Liberace of the Sea!" he gleefully coined it. Again, not really a help as I would be equally frightened if this swam up to me in the ocean:

As you plan your summer vacations, just remember that these Yeti Crabs are out there in the ocean just waiting to pinch you or tickle you with their long, creepy arms! (Actually, they're probably not. But what if they WERE?! Wouldn't it be terrifying?!)

No comments:

Post a Comment