Sunday, February 3, 2013

Matthew of Green Gables -- Meijer

MATTHEW OF GREEN GABLES

I am pretty much obsessed with the Anne of Green Gables movies starring Megan Follows. I loved when it was pledge time on WQED because they would play all of them, back to back, and I could spend a whole weekend pretending I was in Avonlea. In fact, these movies are the reason that I a) went through a phase of only sleeping in long, ruffled flannel nightgowns, b) memorized the poem "The Highwayman" (because Anne recites it at the White Sands Hotel to rave reviews, as I'm sure you know), and c) begged my parents to pledge to WQED at the $100 level so I could receive the Anne of Green Gables cookbook that boasted a recipe for the infamous Raspberry Cordial. It always sounded so delicious, especially when you see Diana Barry chugging it down while at tea with Anne (although, it turns out that it wasn't Raspberry Coridal at all, but Blackberry Brandy, and then Diana pukes in the bushes). Nevertheless, I've still always wanted to try it.

While there are a million things I love about these movies, I have a special love for the character of Matthew.
He is just the sweetest man ever. He won't let Marilla send Anne back to orphanage, he finds the brooch that Marilla accuses Anne of stealing, he buys things for Anne that Marilla think are frivolous, like new dresses and a pearl necklace. He is soft-spoken and kind and understanding and, of course, he dies.


I cannot get over the scene in the movie where he has a heart attack in the field and then dies in Anne's arms. It is so tragic! The first time I saw it, I cried for days. I'm not exaggerating! I felt like a real person that I knew and loved had died. I just couldn't understand why that Lucy Maude Montgomery would kill him off. I kind of understand how, with the loss of Matthew, Marilla's character begins to soften and she and Anne develop a new closeness. I just wish it didn't have to be at the expense of Matthew's life!

If you watch this movie, I'm telling you, have a few boxes of tissues nearby. Oh, and don't watch it if you have to go out in public afterwards. Your eyes will awfully puffy and red. And, it can be a little awkward explaining that you are in mourning over an imaginary old man. Take it from someone who knows.


MATTRESSES

I can't tell you how many times I have been driving along the highway, only to see a mattress, shredded, along the side of the road. And, I'm not the only one. My sister sees them, too. Based on our combined observations, we are certain that the incidence of mattress-related highway accidents is alarmingly high. I actually witnessed one myself.

I was driving on 70W, rounding the curve near Miller-Kelton when the car in the lane next to me straight-on ran over a mattress that was lying in the middle of the road. The mattress had been obscured by the bend in the road, and, due to traffic, the car could not switch lanes to avoid it. If you've never seen this, what happens is the top layer gets caught up in the underside of the car, causing the inside stuffing to fly all over the highway, and then the rest of the mattress kind of gets spit out the back of the car, only to plaster onto the windshield of the unsuspecting vehicle that is next in the line of traffic. It's not pretty.

Yet, why is there no one advocating for the proper securing of mattresses for travel? I've seen countless PSAs and ads talking about the dangers of texting and driving, but none about letting your mattresses shoot off your roof while driving. I would argue that it's equally, if not more, dangerous.

Maybe it's time that my sister and I took a stand on the issue that no one wants to talk about: mattresses on the highway! Perhaps we need to march on Washington, demanding the outlaw of mattresses tied to roofs! (C'mon people! Just buy a new one and let the professionals transport it!) We can pile old, shredded highway mattresses on the steps of the Statehouse until our voices are heard! That's it! See you later...I'm off to make a picket sign!

MEIJER


If there is ever a food that you think is discontinued and you start to panic, my advice to you is to stop, take a deep breath, and then check at Meijer. I can tell you that on several occurrences when I thought the world would end (i.e., no more Berry Berry Kix) and I feared that my lips would never have the occasion to taste the salty, cheesy, flaky goodness that is Nabisco's Better Cheddars, I found them at Meijer. And everything was okay.






 



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