Monday, January 28, 2013

Kindergarten Memories -- Kittens and Puppies

KINDERGARTEN MEMORY

So, I have this memory from Kindergarten. I could swear it really happened, but when I really think about it, it seems impossible. It may, in fact, be "false memory." I hesitate to admit that I might have false memories because we so often make fun of my sister for having them. They are memories that she swears are true, but that the rest of us know, for fact, are not. So, if anyone has evidence that the following event never actually happened, please don't tell her. There would be too much gloating.

What I remember is that someone threw Erica Freas's shoe out the window of our classroom, and she jumped out after it. That's right, straight out the window, without a thought. I feel certain that this happened, but here's the problem--our classroom was on the second floor. I'm not sure that she, as a five year old, would have survived, especially since there was a stairwell leading down to the basement that she would have probably fallen into. Now, here's where things start to get a little fuzzy. I also feel like Erica Freas had a broken leg sometime during Kindergarten. I'm preeettttty sure that she did.

So, the question is, could she have jumped out a second story window after her shoe, somehow avoiding the cellar stairs, landing on the pavement of the parking lot, and merely gotten a broken leg? Or perhaps, the more apt question is, if this in fact a true memory, where was our teacher?

KITCHEN GADGETS

I am obsessed with kitchen gadgets / wares / appliances. Yes, any of it...I love it!

A special knife that only cuts lettuce? A definite must have.
A miniature mortar and pestle for grinding spices? Most helpful on the two occasions I've used it.
Five different shapes of bundt pans? God forbid one should become bored with her bundts!
Those chip clips shaped like mustaches? Couldn't live without them. Seriously.
A very tiny crock pot? What? You don't think the need ever arises to slow cook enough soup for one bowl?
A chocolate melting pot? No, really, it's different from the mini crock pot. I swear.
A tuna fish strainer? Okay. I'm stopping now. You get the point.




KITTENS AND PUPPIES

Most people know that I'm not a pet person. One of the main reasons being that they go to the bathroom, yet 1) do not use toilet paper, 2) do not wear underwear, and 3) sit their butts on your floors and furniture.

That being said, I do think that baby animals are really cute, especially kittens and puppies. And, I've often wondered why in these days of scientific advancements someone hasn't figured out how to keep kittens and puppies from turning into full blown cats and dogs. Now, I know what you're thinking--what about breeds of cats and dogs that are just naturally small? Aren't they good enough?

No, no, they're not. They still look like adults. I need a scientist to come up with a way for puppies and kittens to resist the aging process so that they can retain their big-eyed, big-pawed cuteness throughout their lives. I mean, if animals can be cloned, this doesn't seem like a far leap? Right?

And, yes, if I ever do get a genetically altered, non-aging pet, I will make it wear special underwear. And use Purell.

No comments:

Post a Comment