Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Things I Cannot Do

Although God has blessed me with many talents, there are many things that I cannot do.  And, I'm not talking about big things like curing cancer or solving the global energy crisis, but small things, like snapping.

Now, before you start thinking I'm completely ridiculous, let me just say that I CAN snap--now.  It took me a few years of intense practice to teach myself, but I have mastered it.  When I was in tap dancing, we were frequently asked by our teacher Mary Alice to snap as part of dance routines, to which I would always reply, "But, Mary Alice, I don't know how."  And she would always tell me the same thing, "Just pretend."

It turns out that I was just snapping with the wrong fingers.  Apparently it is common knowledge (to most everyone but me) that you snap with your thumb and middle finger.  I had been trying to snap with my thumb and pointer finger, which, if you ever try, is a futile exercise resulting in nothing but frustration.

Speaking of dance class, something else I cannot do is a cartwheel.  I signed up for a tumbling class in hopes of learning, but as Mary Alice was more interested in sitting on a folding chair and eating snacks, it became clear that this was never going to happen, and I had to drop out of the class.

I can in theory do a cartwheel, meaning that I can get my feet in the air while my hands are on the ground, but it looks nothing like it should.  I seem to lose all control of my legs in the process and while they are in the air, they are nowhere near straight.  In junior high, my cheerleading squad's competition routine included a cartwheel, and I practiced and practiced and practiced, trying to get it right.  And, I actually improved and got a little better at it.  Unfortunately, in the middle of the routine I reverted back to the awful, uncoordinated version.  Stage fright, I guess.  And, the cartwheel has never been any better since.

Other things I cannot do include whistling, blowing bubbles with chewing gum, or even walking while chewing gum.

Granted, none of these things are really hindering my life in any great way.  My inability to whistle has never caused me any real heartache, but I am just a little sad knowing that I could never enter the World Whistling Championship (yes, it is a real thing).  And, my bubble blowing handicap has probably even made me less of an annoying person, since that can be an irritating habit.  But, being able to chew my gum as I walk would make my life just a tad more convenient.

1 comment:

  1. What - you snap with your thumb and middle finger? I've always snapped with my thumb and ring finger... and am also missing the "cartwheel gene"...