Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sloths

I have what some people would consider an unusual fear: sloths.  But, I feel that if you have ever seen a sloth then it is not unusual at all.



Look at that terrifying face; it is sending shivers up my spine this very instant.  If I didn't know that this was just an image, I would be running from my desk right now.  Oh wait, I have done that before.  This one time, at the zoo gift shop, when my little brother stuck a sloth stuffed animal in my face....or this other time, when the same little brother stuck a crayon drawing of a sloth under my pillow...(there's really no need to mention that I was in high school at the time of both of these incidents).

Besides their hideous appearance, I just feel that any animal that inspires the name for one of the seven deadly sins should not be trusted.  Or this guy:


Why wasn't he called hummingbird? Or manatee?  I think you're getting my point.

Let me address some common questions I get from people once they learn of my fear of sloths.

1.  Aren't sloths painfully slow?  Couldn't you outrun one?

     Technically, yes.  I think I once read that it takes a sloth an entire day just to come down from a tree and go back up again.  But what if you were tied up and couldn't move and a sloth was unleashed on you?  The painful slowness would be precisely what would torture you the most--sitting there, knowing the inevitable, yet having to wait so long for it to happen to you (they move six feet per minute, I checked)  Horrible I tell you!



2.  Aren't sloths herbivores?  I don't think they would try to eat a human.

     Okay, okay.  It is true that a sloth's diet consists mainly of buds, tender shoots, and leaves.  BUT, have you seen those claw?  If I ever come face-to-face with a sloth, I'm surely not going to test this fact.



3.  I thought sloths were from the rain forests of South and Central America.  Are you really in danger of coming in contact with one outside of a zoo?

     First of all, I feel that sloths should not even be in zoos as a courtesy to people with phobias such as my own.  There isn't an official name for the fear of sloths, but that does not make it any less real.  But, back to the original question--sloths are not naturally found on the North American continent, but my Dad once sent me an article that he read in the newspaper that reported sloth bones being found in rural West Virgina.  So, who knows, there could still be some ancient sloths prowling around out there. 

And so, it is because of these very valid reasons that I live in daily fear of the sloth.  And you should too!

18 comments:

  1. Hilarious! And this is the first time I've actually seen a pic...now I must look them up on YouTube!

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  2. Me too! OMG me too! I thought I was the only one! They send shivers up my spine. I'm not afraid of anything else in this way. No other creature has such a strong and physical effect on me. I have goosebumps looking at those hideous pictures, I don't know how you managed to post them.
    They seem to haunt me-they are in TV commercials, cuddly toys etc. I can't believe some people think they are cute! Ok rant over!
    Well good luck in this Sloth filled world. I hope you never meet such a beast.

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  3. Joanna! You are my kindred sloth-hating spirit!

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  4. I'm absolutely petrified of sloths as well! Now that they're a popular meme I'm in constant fear of Facebook :'(

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    1. I know! It's a bad time to be a sloth fearing person!

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  5. I remember the first time I saw one of these fearsome creatures he was being deceptively slow...I was sure he could spring any minute. And the claws!!!!!!!!!

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  6. for so long i thought i was the only one with this fear,,,,,these creatures absolutely scare the heck out of me....i dont know what it is and i cant explain it.....i have never kwon what the word PHOBIA meant until ive discovered my phobia of these beasts....nobody understands me when i tell them this ear i have....at first people think i am joking but they soon learn how stunned i get when i see a pic of one......now i feel relieved by the fact that there is at least more of us out there.....p.s. the harpy eagles main diet is sloths :)

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    1. by the way....the name is Jason Severin Vardon if you want to look chat more about this on FB....ciao

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  7. I can't stand them!! It makes me physically sic I want to puke! I can't watch them in videos or anything without screaming and crying and wanting to throw up, and I have nightmares about those evil long claws dragging across my skin. My dad shared a video once of a sloth walking across the street, and I actually started to cry cus my phone wouldn't turn off the video and I was having a panic attack!! So glad I am not alone in this phobia!!!

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  8. It puts a smile on my face to see so many other people have a phobia of this disgusting creature. My friends think I'm crazy for thinking this way about then but now I know i'm not alone !

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  9. I am terrified of sloths!!!! I thought I was only one!!!

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  10. I am also terrified of sloths and everyone makes fun of me and tells me that sloths are cute and once I went to the zoo with my friend and I was in the primate exhibit and I heard the tour guy say that there were sloths and I started freaking out and crying and ran out of the exhibit and went home early. my friend was not happy with me at all.

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  11. I have the biggest fear of sloths and everyone makes fun of me

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  12. I am so terrified of those little beasts. We were doing a close encounter at my zoo once and i didn't know they would be bringing out a sloth since they aren't typically out, I flipped out and almost had to leave the room. My heart was beating so fast, I was hyperventilating, and I shook extremely hard. I was so glad when it was over.

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  13. I am so terrified of those little beasts. We were doing a close encounter at my zoo once and i didn't know they would be bringing out a sloth since they aren't typically out, I flipped out and almost had to leave the room. My heart was beating so fast, I was hyperventilating, and I shook extremely hard. I was so glad when it was over.

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  14. I have a fear of sloths as well. This is a recent development of mine. I've always had a fear of cave crickets. The only other fear I have is of giant whales. I used to love all kinds of whales, but now if I see them in photo or video I have to look away. Same with sloths. I've been around cave crickets, and my body will literally freeze up if they get near....

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