Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Puby Care

I have been diagnosed by my husband as having a rare and unusual disease known as "The T-Town Fever."  The symptoms of the fever are as follows: an increase in hyperactivity, a propensity for laughing at inane things, accompanied by eye-watering, wheezing, and jerky body movements.  I usually come down with a case of the fever when I am traveling to my hometown (hence the name), and the symptoms seem to increase the closer in proximity I get to my family.  When in contact with them, the fever quickly becomes contagious and infects us all. 

Although only recently named by my husband, my family has been suffering from this fever for as long as I can remember, and it is not confined to my immediate family.  In fact, the fever can have some deadly flare-ups when my extended family gets together.  The story that follows is a result of the fever, although at the time I didn't think I was infected, rather I thought I was championing for a very noble cause.

When I was about ten years old, my family went on vacation with my mom's sister, Kelly, and her family.  My Aunt Kelly is very susceptible to the fever, and in a fit of hysteria she made up and taught me a little ditty that went something like this:

     "Pubic hair, pubic hair, I will always take care of my pubic hair."

I wish I could write music and share the tune with you because it was truly lovely.  And, we danced around, laughing and singing this song over and over.

But, being ten, and perhaps a little naive, the term "pubic hair" was not in my vocabulary, so that it is not what I heard in this song.  I instead thought we were singing "puby care" in the lyrics, and although somewhat strange, I immediately thought I knew what this meant.  And, I liked it!

Once the fever wore off, I continued to sing my new little song, much to the exasperation of my mom.  Finally, after serenading my family with a rendition of "puby care" while riding in the car, my mom had to put a stop to it.

     "Gretchen!  That's enough of that!  That song is completely inappropriate!"

     "But, Mom," I replied, deflated, "what is so wrong with taking care of old people?"

My mom was clearly unaware that a "puby" was an old person (or at least it was in my mind), and all along I had thought I was spreading the word about the care of the elderly.  It had made perfect sense to me

     "You're right, honey.  There's nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that at all."


  1. What.... pubic hair? I really was singing about "puby hair" all along! You know how much I love taking care of old people... I can't believe my sister thought I would teach my sweet 10 year old niece a song so completely inappropriate!! So sorry for all these years of confusion.... Hahahha... Love ya, Aunt Kelly

  2. Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up!

  3. omg, I wasn't ready for that one. I seriously got tears in my eyes from laughing.