Saturday, October 2, 2010

Perfume Wars

My sister and I like to play practical jokes on one another--well, it's actually just two jokes that we like to execute over and over again.  The first started with our neighbor's senior picture, while the other was stopped prematurely due to a near fire.

My mom has a drawer full of random pictures in her desk--double prints, school and holiday photos sent by family and friends, that sort of thing.  While rummaging through it one day, I came across our neighbor, Debbie's, senior picture.  The picture struck me as funny because, being quite a bit older than us, Debbie's hair and clothes looked really outdated.  I then had a brilliant idea--to carefully cut out Debbie's head and place it over my sister's head in a framed photo in her room.  When placed under the glass of the frame, the look was seamless.

The fun of this practical joke is waiting to see how long it takes for other person to find it.  After this initial placement, my sister put it on my head, and back and forth it has gone for, no lie, twelve years.  The original Debbie head  was eventually lost, and we had to move onto a picture of my neighbor's cousin making a weird face at a birthday party, but our methods of placement have gotten more discreet and interesting.  The only misstep was when I placed it over my sister's head in a yearbook photo, and it took her over a year to discover it.

The other practical joke deals with perfume.  Exclamation perfume, to be exact.
My Grandma Betty must have gotten a great deal on this stuff at a fire sale or something because every girl in the family received it for Christmas one year.  And, I'm pretty sure why there was mass quantities of this stuff available at discount prices: it smells terrible.

So, instead of using the perfume in the normal way, my sister and I used it to torment one another by spraying it in each other's bedrooms when they were unoccupied.  The goal of this was to make the other person gag upon entering her bedroom, and then chase down the offending sprayer in revenge.  This perfume war went on for so long that it eventually branched out and caught on among my friends as well.  We started taking other horrible perfumes, such as Tribe and Love's Baby Soft, to school and spraying them in each other's lockers.

Looking back, I'm not quite sure why we found this to be so hilarious, but we did.  Once we sprayed so much Tribe in a locker that it permeated the entire main hallway of the school.  As people were changing classes, they could be seen looking around with puzzled faces, sniffing in the air.  It was a normal occurrence for the overwhelming stench of sewer to be wafting through our hallowed halls without making people bat an eyelash, but the Tribe definitely turned some heads.

As with most good things, though, the perfume war eventually had to come to an end.

I had heard somewhere that spraying perfume on a light bulb intensified its smell because of the heat.  So, while my sister was out, I sprayed an considerable amount of Exclamation on the light bulb of her bedside lamp.  But, I ended up leaving with friends before she came home to discover it.  When I did return home, instead of finding my sister waiting to enact revenge on me for my clever perfume attack, I found her bedside lamp sitting out on the back porch.

Curiosity piqued, I called out (as innocently as I could) , "Mom!  Why's Bridget's lamp out here on the porch?"

     "Oh," she replied, "something's wrong with it.  When she turned it on earlier, it started smoking pretty badly, and she thought it was going to catch on fire.  Isn't that weird?"

     "Yeah.  Really weird.  I have no idea why that would even happen!"

     "I know.  I guess I'm going to have to get her a new lamp."

    "Hmmm...yeah...well, I just remembered I have to go return a library book...bye!"

I immediately wondered how neither my mom nor my sister had noticed the overpowering odor of Exclamation and implicated me in the near fire of the lamp!  My only guess was that once the perfume started to burn on the light bulb, the smoke smell overpowered the nauseating sweetness of the perfume.  I realized it was time to put this practical joke on the shelf before I did any further damage.

[On a side note, while dusting, my friend Jessie's mom found the bottle of Exclamation that we had been using at school on her dresser, and she assumed that it was there because Jessie liked it.  A valid inference, since the contents of the bottle were almost gone by this point.  A Christmas present of a giant Exclamation gift set ensued.]

1 comment:

  1. Even though none of these stories are new to me, having been present for or participated in most I still laugh till I cry upon your retelling.Can't wait for what's next. Love ya!