Thursday, October 21, 2010

Bondage Patrol

I never got to ride a bus to school, but I always wanted to.  I lived one block up and one block over from my elementary school, so I always walked there.  My mom would accompany my sister and me to the top of the street, and when we turned into the playground we could still see her, standing in her pink robe and slippers waving goodbye.  When I got to high school, I felt like the bus should have picked me up.  I lived about a half mile away from the school, and while now this doesn't seem like that great of a distance, at the time I found it impossibly far, especially in some of my more fashionable shoe choices.

Luckily, though, my mom was able to drive me (and my friend Weeze) to school when I was a freshman.  And, this ended up working out better than riding the bus because we had much more control over when we left for school and when we arrived at school.  Since you weren't allowed in the building before the first bell, you had to arrive at just the right time.  If you got to school too early, you had to brave cold weather (also not helpful for some of my fashion choices) or risk standing with a bunch of weirdos (which as a freshman, you would never do). 

So if below average temperatures or social miscreants were on the horizon, we would ask my mom to drive around the block.  This was normally an uneventful drive, that is until one fateful day.  As we approached a bus stop, we took notice to a group of elementary school children standing around in a circle.  Just as we passed by, all three of us did a double take.

     "Wait!  Did I just see what I think I saw?!"

     "Oh my god, was that a kid all tied up?  With a jump rope?"

It seemed that what we had seen was a group of kids of about seven or eight, standing around another kid of the same age tied up with a jump rope.  If you are imagining a kid standing there with his arms pinned to his sides and a jump rope snaking around his entire torso like a boa constrictor,  then you've got it about right.

We were astonished and in disbelief about what we had seen, so, of course, we had to circle back around for verification.  But, by the time we arrived back to the bus stop, the kids were gone, picked up by their bus.  And, we never saw that kid again.  Although, his memory lived on because from that day forward our trips around the block became known to us as "Bondage Patrol."  We were on a mission to stop child bus stop enslavement!  No longer would children suffer under the yoke of bus stop serfdom!  Or, at least those children whose bus stop was in the four block vicinity of our high school.

I became, in retrospect, glad that I never had to ride a bus to school.  Who knew it was so dangerous?  Besides, I never could imagine how I would have gotten up the bus steps hamstrung by a jump rope.


Keeping Bus Stops Bondage Free Since 1994

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